And My #Maid Soldiers On.....

I want to share with you the story of a remarkable woman – my hardworking maid. Her name is Pooja. She has been serving my household for nearly 10 years now. I amreally fond of her and she is really scared of me! I have a quick temper and for 10 years she has survived the occasional stormy weather my anger unleashes over the household. She is fascinatingly calm and stoic when I scream. But wait, this post isn’t about me. It’s about Pooja and how remarkable she is.

When she came to us 10 years ago she was a debt-laden peasant from a small village hamlet in Uttar Pradesh. She looked skeletal at the time (to me she still does after a decade, especially in comparison to me!) and her clothes were tattered. One look at her and I knew she is my salvation on earth. I have always needed someone to bestow my compassion on, as I feel suffocated with all the love over-flowing in my soul for humanity in general  J And, I knew when I saw Pooja that for a long time I would be able to fulfill my closely held ideal that ‘charity begins at home’. She was one helluva case needing charity, and I was too small a human to extend my material assets beyond helping a single human. So Pooja was the person destined for me.

I take satisfaction in knowing that I have consciously done for her all that I can do to be a good employer. To begin with I did not negotiate on the salary she asked for a decade ago. Over the years I have steadily increased her income from my house, every Diwali. I give her bonuses and I take care to pay her extra when guests visit and stay in my home. I give her clothes, blankets, woolens, utensils, footwear, bags, household products and food items that are superfluous in my home. I have never believed in hoarding and by god’s grace there has always been more than I need. She works in several households apart from mine and over all these years she has repaid her village loans and now single-handedly supports her family in a big city.  

She has got an aadhar card made and I have been insisting she open a bank account to save for her old-age. She tells me she has done that but I am not so sure; Why? Because Pooja is a remarkable human being who is both vulnerable and stubborn. She stubbornly refuses to spend money on herself first. She has always kept her family as her top priority. Her husband died last year (we took care to arrange and pay for the funeral so that she does not fall under debt again) who by all accounts was a man unable to take responsibility for his wife and children due to several character flaws. Anyway, may he rest in peace, she would never talk ill of him or lament having to be the main bread earner. Like a ‘good Indian wife’ she cooked and cleaned and looked after his needs to his dying day.  

             

She got married in the village at a very young age and has four children; two sons and two daughters, all grown up now. Despite this bounty, she is amazingly alone in having to fend for herself! Pooja’s eldest child, a daughter, got widowed at age 19 when her husband got electrocuted on a live wire in the village. The daughter has two girls and lives in the village in her in-laws house, where her late husband’s brother wants her thrown out. Thankfully, the parents-in-law have been kind and support the daughter and her two girls. Pooja sends part of her income whenever she can.

Pooja’s second child, a son, is intelligent and self-reliant but suffered polio in childhood and lost the use of his legs. He is capable only of supporting himself (remarkable for a village lad with disability). Pooja’s two youngest, a teenage son and daughter, stay with her in this city. These two could have become the pillars of strength for Pooja, especially after she was widowed. But unfortunately they are self-centered and have taken for granted that their mother is duty-bound to support them financially and emotionally.  

The younger son goes to school reluctantly and shows no ambition of getting a job. The daughter is willful and could have become self-reliant as work in households is aplenty in this area. But she too lives off her mother. She did occasionally pick up odd jobs with good employers but kept quitting and finally ran away with a man she claimed to love. Pooja persuaded her daughter to have a formal marriage to save name in society, and many of Pooja’s employers, including me, chipped in for a small ceremony in a temple. This was 3-4 years ago.

Now, that daughter is back with Pooja, having fought with her husband over a television set that both claim, is theirs! Young couples in all sections of society today put a premium on material goods over relationships. The daughter fought with her husband over a TV and walked out, post which the husband shifted into his parents’ home and says the marriage is over. These developments have devastated Pooja who wants nothing more than to see at least one child settled and happy. The thing worrying her most is that her daughter is three months pregnant!      

      

Pooja is taking leave tomorrow to go with her daughter to get the pregnancy terminated. She doesn’t know what else to do. A dependent daughter with a small child is something she cannot support financially. She hopes to get her daughter remarried after the abortion. I wonder at the challenges that life has thrown in the way of my waif-like household help, and the remarkable strength of character with which she soldiers on….  

for more